McCharmin on Kobolds

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Location: Arre

McCharmin on Kobolds

Post by Dave » Mon Jul 15, 2019 9:01 pm

“Kobolds are little yipping shits. Not very tough, but the worst just the same. Only thing good about them is that everyone else hates them the most of everything else. I once saw an Armadon lurp platoon and a drow heavy strike team working together to clean out a kobold den that rooted in the Warrens. Probably went back to killing each other after a rest, but united in extermination for a time. Diplomacy at work.

“They are cunning shits too. They set snares and traps, some of them nasty. A whole pack of them will pop up out of the tunnels they dig and start stabbing away, while their buddies light you up with those damn flaming arrows they love to shoot. Then the tunnel or cavern you are in suddenly collapses on you. Picking gravel boogers for days later.

“They wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t for how fast they make more yipping shits. They lay eggs you know. The females lay clutches of eggs like dropping beers after patrol. A whole bunch at a time. And they must always be humping for as many as there are. If you see one, you can bet theres fifty more tucked away here and there ready to drop flaming pots of shit on your head. Or drop green slime on you. By the gods, I hate that.

“Those kobolds in the mine? They’ve been in there for years. Grome knows how many of the little yippers are there. Once they get rooted down like this, its best to just block it off and move on. Not gonna be able to do that with this one I guess.

“Can’t smoke them out. The mine vents into the city caverns in several areas. We could block the vents, but the smoke will also get into the Wormwrithing and that would be bad. It will attract critters that attract worms. The worms could eat the rubies and destroy the mines.

“The weird thing is they’ve never tried to go out beyond the mine and into the city. They’ve seen us as we have seen them. Kobolds hate the Kin pretty hard. That and they gotta be close to capacity in that mine. Still, they don’t ever seem to go much further out than just outside the sally port. I figure they’re gonna come busting out of there any day now. But they don’t seem like they want to leave.

“So on behalf of those who would have to cleanup such a mess, of which I am one, thanks for taking care of this one. We will drink one to you when we get back. Don’t worry, we’ll make sure there’s beer left for you back at the Ruby. And showers for all that shit.”

***Post up questions and stuff for xp. We will assume such discussions happened on the way to the mine.***
kyle wrote:The party then goes full retard

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